COMING SOON

Kink Kalculator – We’ve built a web application that lets you rigorously audit your kinks, rating them from ‘Hard No’ to ‘Hell Yes!’. This data is crunched to create your personal Kink Signature and your visual KinkDNA record.

Use it instantly, or choose to lock it away in the vault. Locking it encrypts your Signature in your browser on your device using a unique ‘Safe Word’ that only you create. Locking it away then saves that encrypted blob to your profile on this site (the Vault). This Safe Word becomes the sole key to your data, held only by you—the true keyholder.

Important: This Safe Word is not your website password. Lose this key, and the digital vault containing your Signature remains permanently locked. Not even we have a master key. Absolute privacy.

Once vaulted, your Signature acts as your master filter. Instantly refine our entire shop to show only items matching your ‘Hell Yes!’ list, hiding everything else.

Visualise your dynamic: The system now generates a KinkDNA Card—a visual “trading card” of your psychometric profile. It maps your responses onto our KinkMatrix, calculating your vector between Erotic and Intense poles to assign you a specific archetype (e.g., “Intense Authority” or “Erotic Sensualist”).

Ready to compare? Ask potential players to share their Kink Signature with you. Our Compatibility Viewer checks their Signature against your own (only you see the comparison), generating an instant KinkContract. From there, KinkScene can spark tailored ideas based on your shared interests.

Define your play, unlock your scene.

Kink Kalculator, DNA & Signature – Frequently Asked Questions

(Or: Everything You Wanted To Know About Your Kink Data But Were Too Busy Tying Someone Up To Ask)

Q: What in the sweet name of subspace is the Kink Kalculator? A: It’s our nifty web tool. You go through a comprehensive list of kinks and activities, rating each one from ‘Hard No’ all the way up to ‘Hell Yes!’. Simple inputs, powerful outputs.

Q: And this creates a… Kink Signature? A: Precisely. It takes all your ratings and compresses them into a unique digital string of characters – your Kink Signature. Think of it as the raw data code of your preferences.

Q: I keep seeing these “KinkDNA” graphics. How do I get one? A: That’s the visual representation of your Signature. Once you’ve filled out your ratings, our engine runs a psychometric analysis to generate your KinkDNA Card. It looks at two main vectors on the KinkMatrix:

The Erotic Axis: Your drive for sensual, sexual, or connection-based play.
The Intensity Axis: Your drive for impact, edge-play, or heavy sensation.

Based on where you land, you are assigned a quadrant (e.g., Erotic & Intense, Balanced, or Emerging) and a primary Identity Noun (like Rigger, Headonist, or Caregiver) derived from your highest-scoring categories.

Q: My KinkDNA card looks out of date. I’ve changed my mind about needles. How do I refresh it? A: Crucial point: The KinkDNA card is a snapshot of your data at the moment you generated it. It is not a live video feed. If you update your ratings (like switching needles from ‘Hard No’ to ‘Discuss’), your archetype might shift. You must hit the “Regenerate Identity” button to crunch the numbers again and paint a new card.

Q: So, what are these ratings exactly? ‘Hell Yes!’ is pretty clear… A: We keep it straightforward:

Hard No: Self-explanatory. Don’t want it, won’t do it. End of.
Discuss: Maybe? Curious? Got questions? Needs a proper chat before even considering it.
Yes: Happy to engage, enthusiastic even.
Hell Yes! / Favourite: This is your jam. Top-tier, eagerly desired kinks. (The exact label might vary slightly depending on context, but the meaning is peak enthusiasm).

Q: Right, I’ve made my Signature. Now what? Save it? A: You can. If you want to use it again later, generate a KinkDNA card, or filter the shop, saving is the way. This locks your encrypted Signature in our digital vault.

Q: Hold on, ‘encrypted’? You mentioned a ‘Safe Word’. Is that just my website login password? A: Absolutely NOT. Good question, vital distinction. When you save, you create a unique Safe Word (think: private encryption key). This Safe Word encrypts your Signature data in your browser before it even touches our servers. We never see your Safe Word. It is completely separate from your site login password.

Q: So, you can’t see my kinks if I save them? Promise? Cross your heart and hope to… get spanked? A: Promise. We store only the encrypted blob. Without your specific Safe Word, it’s just meaningless digital noise to us (and anyone else). You are the sole keyholder. Your privacy is paramount; we built this architecture specifically not to know your business unless you explicitly share it. We do not process your special category data, we don’t want or need it. It is either in you browser where it’s of use and we cannot see it, or an encrypted blob in which case only you can read it. If you want to save it, you’ll need an account, that’s as much personal data we see.

Q: Okay, Mr. Security Pants. What if I forget my Safe Word? A: It might be a long night for you 😉 In short – your vaulted Signature is locked forever. Poof. Like a safecracker forgetting the combination. Because we never know your Safe Word, we have zero way to recover or reset it. Choose something memorable to you, but secure. Data loss is the price of true client-side encryption.

Q: How do I save this Signature thing then? A: You need to be logged into your site account first (so we know whose vault to put it in). Hit ‘Save’, create and confirm your unique Safe Word when prompted. Done.

Q: And getting it back? Next time I log in? A: Log into the site as usual. Go to the Kalculator page. Hit ‘Load’. You’ll be prompted for your Safe Word (remember, not your login password). Enter it correctly, and voilà, your Signature is decrypted and ready to use in your browser for that session.

Q: How does this help me shop? I hate scrolling past endless floggers when I’m just after some nice rope. A: Once your Signature is loaded (decrypted with your Safe Word), it acts as a live filter. Activate it, and the shop automatically hides products related to your ‘Hard Nos’ or things below your current interest threshold, showing you only the kit that matches your ‘Yes’ and ‘Hell Yes!’ ratings.

Q: Okay, Professor Kink, you lost me. If my browser knows my Hard Nos, but the website server doesn’t, how does the shop magically hide the nasty stuff I hate? Is it actual f’ing magic? A: Ha! Not quite magic, more like a clever tag team between your browser and our server, designed to keep your secrets safe. It works simply:

You whisper your ‘Yes!’ list to the server: Your browser (knowing all your secrets because you unlocked your Signature) tells the server, “Hey, fetch me anything related to ropes, blindfolds, and maybe tease me with some wax play stuff.” Notice it only mentions the fun things you might like.
The server plays fetch: The server scurries off and grabs everything that vaguely matches your ‘Yes!’ list. It might grab a few extra bits you’re not keen on, just because they were nearby (like grabbing your favourite paddle but also the scary-looking cane next to it). It sends this slightly-too-big pile of goodies back to your browser.
Your browser acts as the bouncer: Now, your browser, holding your complete list (Hard Nos and all), looks at the pile the server brought back. It goes, “Right, server did okay, but that cane? Master/Mistress said ‘Hard No’ to heavy impact. YEET!” And poof, it removes the unwanted items from the DOM before you even see them.

The Result? You only see the curated collection matching your actual desires, with the ‘Hard Nos’ banished, even though the server never knew your full list of turn-offs. It’s like having a personal shopper in your browser who knows all your kinky little secrets and filters out the rubbish the main store sends over. Clever, eh?

Q: Can I share my Signature? Like, comparing notes with a potential playmate? A: Yep! You have two main ways:

The Visual: Send them your KinkDNA Card. It gives them the “at a glance” vibe check—your KinkMatrix and high affinity activities instantly communicate your style.
The Code: You can generate a text string (KinkKode).
- Unencrypted: Easy to share, easy for anyone to decode. Good for open discussion.
- Encrypted: Requires your Safe Word to generate. The resulting code can only be decrypted by someone you give the Safe Word to.

Q: So if I send someone my encrypted code, can they see all my detailed ratings? A: Not directly just from the code. They need the Safe Word you used. How much they see then depends on what tool they use to view it. Our KinkCompare Viewer is designed for comparison – when someone sends you their code, you load it (using their Safe Word if encrypted) and the tool compares it against your currently loaded Signature, typically showing you matches, mismatches, and areas for discussion—generating your KinkContract.

Q: What’s this ‘KinkScene’ you mentioned? A: Once you’ve used KinkCompare to see where you and a partner align (your mutual ‘Hell Yes!’ kinks), KinkScene uses that specific data to suggest potential scene ideas or activities you might both enjoy. It’s a creative spark based on your shared interests. We’ve guessed how long an activity could take, and we put into a lottery tumbler. A feature for the future is for you to be able to weight certain categories so they appear more frequently.

Q: Why not just… talk to people? A: Absolutely talk! This doesn’t replace communication; it structures it. It helps articulate limits and desires clearly (especially for complex lists), reveals surprising shared interests, and avoids the ‘blank page’ problem when negotiating. Discussing likes, dislikes and limits with new people is both exciting and daunting. By the time you get around to talking about your more sensitive kinks especially via messaging, if they are going to ghost you – best rip off that Band-Aid and get it out the way quickly with your KinkKode/KinkDNA.

Q: Where is this data actually stored? My browser? Your server? Under Mistress’s boot? A: When saved, the encrypted data blob is stored securely on our servers, linked to your user account. The decryption using your Safe Word happens only in your browser, during your active session. The unencrypted data (your actual kink list) lives only temporarily in your browser memory while you’re using it. Clear your browser – it’s gone. If you didn’t save it or save a KinkDNA card, you need to start from scratch. Unfortunately this type of your personal data is far too sensitive to just leave lying around. We do hope you agree. Plan for the worst and hope for the best, that’s how honest cyber security is implemented.

Q: Can I delete my saved data? Maybe I’ve… evolved. A: Of course. There is an option within your account settings or on the Kalculator page (when logged in) to manage your saved profiles, including deleting them permanently from the vault.